Friendships Between Men and Women

Studies indicate that male-female friendships are less common than same-gender friendships. This is especially true for married people or couples, where friendships across the gender line are much less common than among single people (Bell, 1981; Block, 1980; Rubin, 1985). Most studies indicate that this is primarily due to possessiveness and jealousy that often characterizes sexual relationships and coupled life (Block, 1980; McGill, 1985; Rubin, 1985). 

In his study, Bell (1981) discusses what he describes as an emerging "new pattern" in cross-gender friendship: "Men turn more to women for close relationships, and relationships with other men are less stressed as the only 'real' friendships" (Bell, 1981, p. 112). Rubin (1985) found similar trends. Some of the men in her study describe how a friendship with a woman provides them with nurturance and intimacy, that generally is not available in their friendships with other men. The women in Rubin's study share this view and most of them agree that in their friendships with men, they are the ones who listen and nurture. The vast majority of women, however, report that their friendships with men are less intimate than their relationships with other women. For their most intimate friendships, women turn to each other.